Lets See

Where Do I Begin???

Well, Lets Go Back to the Beginning……

I was formed in the my Mother’s Womb before she knew

And like an embryos, I grew.

NOT to be shaped like this world but to be formed in his image

Above like the stars.

So my life has to mirror him 100 percentage

He formed my mouth so, you have to listen with your heart because your ears are too weak..

To hear what someone has to say

But that’s why it says to “Be quick to hear and slow to Speak”.

But how many of us actually do that?

I know I don’t but I’m trying,

If I told you I do then I would be lying.

And I put my flesh on hold and make it daily dying

Because my life he is steady crucifying

And he is showing me to learn these unlearned learned lessons

Before I definitely stressing

About people’s approval and making new friendships

Also living my life to fullest before he ends it

But I refused to look to him…..

Isn’t he my friend?

The best friend that I could ever have and more

And hangs out with me even on the Weekends.

For sure.

These are Unlearned Learned Lessons.

So Everyday I’m Confessing

To be a better Me

And to do things the next day Differently.

Each day is a brand new Start

So get rid of those evil thoughts

And be pleasing to him with your heart.

But,…Not with a heart of stone

Don’t you know that you are NEVER alone??

God’s got you and is carrying you on his back

Even through school like a big Backpack.

He can also fulfill your needs so in him you will never Lack

And that is a Fact

And this is a true Story

About Unlearned Learned Lessons.

Always,

                   ~  Tiffany ~

Closing My Eyes,...

I still Couldnt Hide It

Thoughts in My Head for the longest,

About why this is happened to me

and what I did to deserve this??

I just wanted to sleep in heavenly BLISS!!

And this was a total MISS!! 

Since I was young I felt like a Protector,

Always sitting by the door waiting for an intruder to

Come in,

Sleepless nights wasn't a real big deal

Until I started having nightmares,

and darkness started creeping in,

I thought I was free from Sin??!

So why am I having these nightmares?

Couldnt Move, 

Felt a Heavy Weight on Me 

Couldn't See

Evil Voice speaking to Me 

Couldn't get up in my Sleep

and these nightmares seemed so Deep

and Real.......

Fear started to sink In...

Taking over my Heart and Mind, 

I expected it every night

Even in my slient cryful prayers 

I still Fright.

And like I said it was expected every Night.

Between 3 or 4 o clock in the morning 

It would happen,

Espeically when i consistently called Jesus

My Captain. 

Of my soul, never to be Sold

Never did it dawn on me that this was SPIRITUAL WARFARE

Hitting me below the Belt, in my Deep Sleep 

I just needed to TAKE A BIG LEAP!

and stretch his word and my FAITH!

RIGHT IN HIS UGLY FACE!! 

The Devil got some real Nerve!!

So I threw him a Curve and 

Kneeled down harder

With Gods Word it made me feel Stronger!!

So I NO LONGER HAD TO PUT UP WITH THIS! 

Tears and Cries coming out my eyes and Mouth!!

Leave me ALONE AND FLEE FROM ME!!

and YOU ARE NO LONGER WELCOMED HERE!

MY LIFE YOU WILL NO LONGER STEER!!

WITH FEAR AND GUILT!!!

JESUS ALREADY PAID THE COST!! 

WITH HIS BLOOD HE PROTECTS ME!!

so why should be afraid??

and what  do I have to FEAR??

His love and protection comforts Me!

No longer do I have to fear or be afraid of sleep 

He lets me Rest and my soul he keeps! 

   * My     RaW    DreaMS *

~  Tiffany  ~

Sometimes I sit and wonder..

"Have I been the best friend that I can be to people?" and vice versa?

Somtimes I sit and wonder...."When I die, what will people remember most about me?

Will they remember how I was in the past or will they see the person I matured to be? Yes or No?"

Will they see the passion I had for Christ? 

Did they know I was a christian?

Sometimes I just wonder.  Life isnt forver (expect in Jesus of course)

...and tomorrow isnt promised. Sometimes I just wonder.

What would the past be like if I was still in it? Sometimes I wonder.

Thats when I come to into reality....that no matter how hard I try, I cant the change the past.

I can only focus my time and energy on the present and the future.

No doubt I have made many many many MANY mistakes and flat-out stupid decisions

but I cant change it Nor should I regret it.

Before I even can move on to the future or more-less forgive somebody else,

I must first start off by saying that...I forgive MYSELF.

For keep holding myself back by continuing to go in the past.

I'm not a transporter so I cant go fix something or "redo" something.

Whats done, is done. Sometimes I wish I could though.

I would go back and reconnect with old friends in high school and college.

Instead of me trying to "fit in" with the wrong crowd,

I would just be myself...not even caring if I was alone.

That was always one of my downfalls. I never wanted to be alone but I didnt think I "fit in" with the popular kids so I chose to make friends with the wrong crowd.

The wrong crowd: People who dont have an agenda and are easily distracted and influenced to do wrong things.

These people dont care about you unless it benefits them.

And for the longest, I was trying to find the difference between the right and wrong crowds

then I found myself becoming the person who I dreaded the most.

I started to become the person that I told myself I wouldnt be and never wanted to become.

Looking for love in the ALL the wrong places.

Not knowing who I was or what I was supposed to do for myself. 

Just wanted someone to come rescue me before I destroyed myself.

"Go to College. Go to College" they would say..

but major in WHAT? "Do this career, do that career" they would say

..but deep down...I didnt know WHAT to do or even which career to go in.

Truth be told, sometimes I still dont.

I just want to FINALLY know who I am and use my natural talents to be successful.

RaW_FeelingS #2 

~  Tiffany  ~